In His Mind
by Whitelight72
Summary: Chase is still working in NICU after House fired him. When he runs into members of House's new team, he finds himself highly amused. ONESHOT


**I got this idea after watching Airborne. Cause of how on the plane, House is going on about how he needs three people to talk to and chooses random people out of the passengers and tells them to act like each of the three ducklings.**

**It's like he can't work without those personalities, so he refused to hire new ducklings until he found people with the same backgrounds and specialties as the original ducklings.**

**In His Mind**

House stared absently into the newly empty conference room. He sat, his leg on his desk, and was imagining his team doing their differential diagnosis.

"It could be a tumor in the brain," Foreman suggested.

"Of course the neurologist thinks it's a brain tumor," Chase quipped, looking remarkably like House when he rolled his eyes. "Could be pneumonia."

"Could be Lupus," Cameron suggested.

"It's never Lupus," Chase retorted.

In his mind, they were arguing. In his mind, Chase was becoming more and more like House. In his mind, he missed his team. In his mind, they were his friends.

Wilson walked into House's office with a huge stack of papers in his hands and saw him staring blankly into the conference room. He dropped the papers and the loud thud made House snap his head towards Wilson.

"What's up?"

"Cuddy's on _my_ back because you haven't hired a new team yet," Wilson said, annoyed. "So look through the resumes and find a new team."

.xoxo.

"Ok, I tell you to lie to a patient and tell them that a procedure that is extremely dangerous is perfectly safe. What do you do?" House questioned, looking hopefully at the woman across from him. Wilson, who was sitting off to the side, snorted.

The woman barely paused to think about it. "I go to Dr. Cuddy," she says honestly.

House nodded; this was good. "Do you cry when patients die?" he asked mockingly.

She nodded. "Yes."

"Do you like children?"

She nodded again. "Yeah, I love them."

"Do you have any objection to breaking into people's homes if it is medically relevant?"

She shrugged. "It's wrong, but if it could help save someone's life, I guess I can deal with it."

House opened his mouth to say something, but Wilson cut across him. "Can you deal with a manipulative bastard as a boss?"

The woman laughed. "Yes, I'm pretty sure I can."

"And you're an Immunologist. Perfect, Dr. Kehoe, you're hired," House said simply. "You start in about two hours."

"Go enjoy your freedom," Wilson suggested. "It tends to die when you work for him."

.xoxo.

Wilson held in his sigh as House grinned at the black man walking into his office.

"You must be Dr. Allard," House said, still grinning like an idiot.

"That would be me," he replied. House stood up slightly to shake the man's hand before he sat down.

"I'm Dr. House, Head of Diagnostic Medicine," he said.

Dr. Allard nodded knowingly. "Yes, I've heard all about you."

House smirked. "And this is my good friend Jimmy. He's Head of Oncology."

Wilson reached forward to shake the man's hand as well. "I'm _Dr. Wilson_," he said, glaring at House.

House merely shrugged. "Alright Dr. Allard, your resume says you attend Hopkins?"

"Yes," Allard nodded. "Excellent school."

"I agree," House said. "And you're a neurologist." He was wearing that stupid grin again.

"Yes."

"Ok, now, this is not a racist thing, so promise me you won't get offended by the round of questions I'm about to ask you."

Wilson rolled his eyes and clarified. "He's not racist. He doesn't like anybody. Doesn't matter if they're black or white or orange."

"Orange. I had an orange patient once," House said mystically. "Alright, anyway, first question. Are .38 caliber hollow points ferromagnetic?"

It was clear this was not the question Allard was expecting, but he answered. "Yes, it is."

"Alright. Now let's say that a police office wearing a Kevlar vest was shot with said bullet; what happens?"

"Well, the vests don't have a ceramic plate, and the vest would catch most bullets, but if he was using a .38 caliber hollow point, it would shatter on its own," Allard explained.

House clapped his hands together excitedly. "Yes! Yes, I love it!"

The man looked thoroughly confused.

House continued his tirade. "Now, it says here you have a criminal record…"

.xoxo.

"I need an Australian intensivist!" House told his two new doctors.

"Why?" Allard asked.

"I just do! Don't argue with me."

"Why does he have to be Australian?" Kehoe asked.

"Because I love Australians. Oh, and he has to be blonde, and a total ass kiss."

.xoxo.

Dr. Chase did a double take. That man looked just like him! Chase had returned to work at Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, doing shifts in NICU and ER. He cringed as he heard his former boss's voice echo in the hallway.

"Dr. Spencer!" The look alike turned around to the limping man.

"What do you need, House?" The man had an Australian accent!

"Get your aussie ass to the clinic. Patient had an infection." House tossed a nametag to the man. "Cuddy's been on my case about clinic hours. I promised her I'd make them up today. You lose the bet; go be me for a few hours."

When House continued down the hall, Chase looked away, not wanting to be caught spying. He practically jumped out of his skin when he heard the man's hoarse voice right in his ear.

"Give me the file," he commanded.

Chase started and turned around, the hand holding the file going behind his back. "Why?" he asked suspiciously.

"Cause I'm willing to bet that you're job experience with me means the ER gives you the difficult cases. That means the file in your hand is the girl having hallucinations and kidney problems. I _want_ that case."

Chase sighed and handed it over to him. "Alright; she's all yours."

House snatched it quickly, reading over the notes. "Thank you," he said quickly, pulling out his pager. He went into where the patient was being held in ER, and soon a black doctor appeared in the ER as well. At first, Chase thought it was Foreman, but after close examination, noted that this man was younger.

"Dr. Allard, she's suffering from hallucinations and nephritis. Nephritis is obviously _my_ area of expertise, but the hallucinations are all neurological, so get her moved out of ER. She's our new case!"

House walked away, and stopped halfway down the hallway. "Oh, and tell Wilson to keep Kehoe away from the dying cancer patients! I don't need her crying in the office again!"

.xoxo.

Wilson heard a soft knock on the door and looked up to see Dr. Chase standing in the open doorframe. Wilson beckoned him in.

"What's going on?" he asked politely.

"I – House's new team," Chase said.

"So you've finally seen the twins, have you?"

"I did a check on Dr. Spencer; he's an Australian intensivist!"

Wilson chuckled. "Yeah, he was a little crazy. I've heard him call Kehoe Cameron about four times now. He won't admit it, but he really does miss you guys. I thought it was kind of funny that he purposely looked for doctors so similar to you guys."

"Elaborate."

"Kehoe is an extremely ethical immunologist. Spencer is a little ass kisser from Australia, no offense. And Allard is a black neurologist with a criminal record. I sat in on the interviews. As soon as Allard told House he knew what a .38 caliber hollow point was, House was insanely overjoyed.

"I tried talking him into hiring a cardiologist, but he held out for an additional two months and flew a guy in from Australia to replace you. He was very adamant about him being Australian."

"Oh God," laughed Chase. "Cameron and Foreman are gonna love this!"

* * *

** Love it! Hate it! Feel free to flame it!****  
Whitelight72**


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